This House Was My Home

Saying goodbye to #17 is so difficult, in some ways more difficult than saying goodbye to our home in Virginia.  This morning, I laid on the floor of the empty living room, absolutely sobbing about saying goodbye.  It's been waterworks on and off for days... Leaving here is one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long while...

I had a history in this house--I started visiting it when I was in fourth or fifth grade for sleepovers.  I always loved coming here--Mrs. P was a warm homemaker and the house was always friendly and warm and beautiful.  I had dreams of living here, I seriously did.  

When I moved back home in 2017, my first thought was "Maybe I can own the Leonard Drive house!"  Then I found out that a young family was living there, and I thought they were never going to leave.  Only weeks later, I saw on Facebook that they did indeed want to sell, and I quickly visited and made an offer on the place, and by November 2018, my childhood wish came true.  I eagerly explored every nook and cranny.  I got new furniture for the place.  Like me, the place had been through some things but was still standing, and I couldn't have been happier to live here.  The neighbors were great, the street quiet, and I felt very proud of myself for being able to buy it on my own.  It was a symbol of my independence and my ability to provide for my daughter and I without having any kind of head start or help.  

I am giving it up now.  Not because I especially want to--in fact, I'd like nothing better than to keep it.  Unfortunately, the reality is that we would not be able to come back from SD to use it as often as I think would be useful in a vacation home to maintain the upkeep and taxes on it.  I got a very generous offer on the place, which will allow me to move into a new home in South Dakota, with my fiance and my daughter, and we will be able to start our lives as a family together.

Oh how I'll miss it though!  I can't say how terribly I'll miss my dad.  He has been a rock for me during this past 3+ years, helping with childcare, looking after his grand-cats, helping with maintenance questions, having us over to Sunday dinners, and of course letting us live with him for most of a year while we were getting established.  We had our fair share of disagreements, and we lived through some history together (I had to go to his house to watch the Capitol insurgency because we don't have cable), and we've laughed so much together.  He's been so good to me and Leah and Greg and Alia and 'the other one'...  Dad, you are a star.  Thank you.  

We've made some amazing memories here as well...  I hosted my fourth exchange daughter, Alia from Malaysia, here and it was a great semester with her.  Greg and I shared our first kiss in the living room and decided to get engaged in this house... I let Leah ride her bike into town independently here.  I had a really amazing start to my career at the local library, where I got to work for three years and became known as a leader in my field to a certain extent, which allowed me to get the dream job I really, really desperately wanted.  We've starred in shows and enjoyed the local festival, I learned about gardening and landscaping, we built an amazing fairy garden, and of course, we weathered the virus in relative safety.

Leah and I 'tattooed' our house in Virginia when we left--we found an out of the way spot where we could sign the wall and left our mark where we don't think it will be discovered.  We did the same tonight (with Greg), so that a piece of us will remain here.  I'm so, so grateful I had a chance to live in the house of my dreams.  I honestly didn't take a single moment of my time in this home for granted, and it's over far too soon.  I hope the new owner loves and honors and cherishes it like I did...  It deserves it.  

Finally, I thank all of you who had a part in our lives here.  When I leave tomorrow, with tears in my eyes to be sure, I hope you know I'll be thinking of you all with gratitude, and maybe a bit of awe.  This is not an easy place to live sometimes, but you have all made it much easier on me.  It's not goodbye, it's merely "see you later"...